The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires

Patricia is about to launch the book club’s big plan to take down James Harris. Maryellen’s husband Ed brings police detectives to talk to the women, who have created an outline to use when they speak to the police to coherently articulate their concerns. Everything is rehearsed and carefully planned out; the women assume the plan is fool-proof. But Ed never arrives. Instead, the women are greeted by a line of cars containing all of their husbands.

The book club members’ husbands step into Patricia’s house. They are there to stop their wives from “embarrassing [themselves] in front of the police and doing serious damage to both [themselves] and to [their] families” (209). Plus, accusing James Harris of heinous crimes could interfere with their investments in Gracious Cay. 

Patricia grows frustrated, insisting that she and her friends should at least get to voice their concerns. The husbands patronizingly listen to Patricia, only to condescendingly explain that James Harris pays $85 a month to store his van so he can fit into the neighborhood better. Patricia still wants to go to the police, but Carter sternly threatens to accuse her of being mentally unbalanced if she does so.